Wise Friend,
Years ago you wrote: “We communicate only via writing or phone, which makes us feel good most of the times. However, sometimes it hurts when either of us or both feel frustrated. Also, we have to deal with a lack of continuity and with the question of how honest we could be within these kinds of communication.”
On the one hand, either of us or both of us could choose what would more comfortable and leave aside real confrontations; this would be cowardice, isn’t it (on my behalf)?
Sensitive Friend,
When two people love being around each other, they can talk about French fries and enjoy each other.
Wise Friend,
On the other hand, you seem to imply, which I find acceptable, that this is not good for you and the communication would become sterile. Had we choose to dive deeper into some specific question you might raise, into an impression of mine that I suddenly saw a little light in a corner I never noticed.
You have integrity, while at the same time you move around from topic to topic with so much agility; you might start an idea, and suddenly you change your mind.
Sometimes I ask you something specific, I need your answer, and you move on to another subject, and we go on from there.
It’s OK for me, but we deviate from the flow. There is something else in this complex communication: my topics are not easy to address, and I’m not always clear. I never know how my subjects touch you, given the context of your thoughts and your disposition at the very moment when you open my email or when we talk over the phone.
It forces me to restrain myself and to weigh much too much every word I write or say. You turn, now.
Sensitive Friend,
Starting with an idea and moving to another subject was not a sign of agility. At that time, I lacked the discipline to stay with the topic at hand.
I wanted to speak about everything that might have tangentially touched the subject, or I thought about in the absence of our communication. I’ve improved a lot, and I get so much more satisfaction when staying with the topic discussed until clear. Now, I notice as others change the subject and I don’t enjoy it, at all.
I wonder what I answered at the time of our interaction.
eachword-eachday 