Archive for April, 2013

 

Dearest Friend,

Delauney’s painting – Sometimes I look at it, and it seems as agitated as our souls right now. A few minutes later, I look again, and I see peace and quiet, but with energy and fire. Somehow it represents us: while it scares me, it calms me as well, and it gives me joy, too. Be happy; it’s your birthday.

Delauney

Wise Friend,

I’m so far. I wish I would be able to touch you so slightly, so lightly. Happy birthday and many happy returns – please laugh a lot with your beautiful laughter.

You brought me a fantastic year. I wish you goodness and a comfortable life, and to never regret that gift so loaded, so pregnant. Whatever has happened, our love, may it be a sign of only good things to come to you.

Dearest Friend,

Now, don’t blame me. What possibilities, do you think that could have crossed my mind back then? After two years, I left him. I was nine years younger than you, and I was so immature.

How was it possible that I was there for those years, and we didn’t ‘know’ each one about the other and each one for the other? Has life toyed with us, like a joke? What did it want from us to prove?

That we’re two people kind and caring? I have no idea if I would have reacted to your signs. I responded to the warmth in your voice, at sunset, looking both of us over that valley I love. I acted, not as an adult, but as a little child to whom somebody finally told how valuable might be.

Wise Friend,

Maybe if you had persisted, I would have been intoxicated. It’s your fault you moved me too late and too fast. I left that place, the beloved country, with your words in my soul, with the warmth of your voice, feeling to some extent the attraction you had felt, not more than that.

You say you kept pushing the gas pedal, knowingly that the engine was not on. Suddenly the engine started, and we forgot reason. I, like you, had not imagined this was possible, even if deep down maybe I, like you, knew it was.

Why not, if we knew this is what we wanted, then why no other person who wanted the same showed up?

Wise Friend,

Inner peace is inner, and only we can give it to us. How? Sometimes, I think that I found the formula. Later I wake up to the fact that I forgot to apply it. However, so much depends on us and our attitude.

Dearest Friend,

It wasn’t about carrying a stone within my heart. I’m able to carry heart stones. It was about, what you believed, and what I thought that you understood. I couldn’t let it happen between us. At least for now.

Wise Friend,

Now, there are two people inside me. I live with the feeling that I’m hiding something from you, but we have no choice. I’m afraid that you won’t like any longer the person I’m now.

I clench my teeth and continue with what we started, as it’s decent, or maybe it’s a must, or it’s just wise; this is called “looking after myself.”

I’m obsessed with the thought that, by being quiet, I lie to you, I let you believe something else. I’m not at peace; I don’t want to lose you. I tell my self I don’t have you anyway, such was life; this is what you decided. Later, I say myself that we both decided; then I’m too tired, I give up for a few days to look after the other person within me…

We’re not yet used to not connecting for two weeks. Later music follows, I go to a play, a show, a museum, walking, or I drive for a more extended stretch or maybe just that time arrived again to feel torn between the two people inside me.

Dearest Friend,

I know what you say. With whom are you comparing these group of people? They are not perfect, but overall they behave like good strong, kind, and reliable people. It’s so incredible that the others look at them, at their history and what they’ve achieved and continuously demonise them. Did they ever err? Certainly, they did! Like whom would they be? Please show me the group.

Wise Friend,

There is a toddler in my life. I miss her. I miss putting my head on the back of her neck and hear her laughter.

When she was here, visiting, I looked after her for a few hours. We played together. She showed me what to press on her toys, pressing my hand to push.

Her parents went out. She wasn’t crying, though very quiet and sad. Then she fell asleep in my arms.

Sensitive Friend,

Why do I avoid scary movies, and you and so many others love them? Is that possible that many have a need for feeling and seeing horror?

I see, not appreciate, why those who create such movies, books or games would take advantage of this need.

Who else could or would take advantage of that in (y)our daily life besides those who create this ‘art’?

Wise Friend,

Today the toddler put the baby doll in a basket and carried it the around the living room. She went into her dad’s arms, sent me Face-Time kisses and laughed.

Wise Friend,

“It’s never about the cost; it is about customer satisfaction.” Oh! It sounds so beautiful! I risk being moved and stop thinking.

What an inversion of reality and practicality! Which business would survive without worrying about cost?

Sensitive Friend,

Whose money is this person spending? If it’s her money, she still conveys a wrong message; this is how she sustains financial illiteracy.

It sounds like, covering ignorance, hubris, carelessness with pedestrian demagoguery.

If it is not her money, then who gives the money to her?

Sensitive Friend,

From time to time, FB or Twitter annoys me so much. I hold myself practically from confronting. I repeatedly have to tell myself this FB “friend” is not, in fact, my friend.

Two days ago he shared the video of a woman crying and talking about the death of an acquaintance, commenting that each time somebody dies, something dies in him. Cheap comment.

Wise Friend,

Yesterday, Boston happened. Not even one mention. I forced myself to hold back to not comment. He is not my friend. FB’s false friends.

Wise Friend,

Enchanted by her son’s sweet words, Diana wrote to me, “He made me think about myself and wondering what would my mission be….”.

Bringing up a good, manly man is quite a mission!
Enjoy the journey!
The rest is secondary.

Senstive Friend,

Yesterday, this woman talked about witnessing a beating. She called it “injustice.” It was “evil.” Scratching my head, why as a narrator she refused to call evil evil.

Today Boston was attacked. Let’s dare say: “This is evil!” If they don’t get caught, we have injustice. If we refuse to call it “evil,” then we disparage the truth.

Wise Friend,

Today the toddler girl spoon-fed her food to the father saying: “Aaah!”
The father obliged.