Boredom instead self-explaining

Posted: April 5, 2014 in Musings

I want to go back to the ability to touch emotions in a more nuanced way, and therefore more precisely, instead of hearing the same word/expression for everything such as:

• “hate” for some minor discomfort, frustration, impatience, a sense of anger, distaste or lack of respect.

• Alternatively, “hot,” when I might feel some pleasure, or some likeness of something, or just sheer lightness of being.

I’m done with the “f..k” word used as a permanent grunt to express anything from a bit of anger to fury.

When anybody used such a limited language, I ended up defending myself trying to explain in detail what I felt. It was a sense of defence both internal and verbally in trying first to deny and then to explain.

It was tiring. Lately, I’ve moved beyond that instinctual reaction of feeling and talking defensive.

Now I move the nuance of my emotion directly for whatever specific event or person.

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