Decades Later

Posted: November 8, 2018 in Fiction, Musing, Musings, opinion, philosophy, relationships

Wise Friend,

I loved at long distance. That animal chemistry about which we all talk? It doesn’t work across oceans. We, humans, create our own chemistry when we fall in love with attention, words, warmth and conversations. Then we rationalise.

I recently read what he and I wrote to each other so many years ago. Going through those emails, I wondered how I allowed myself to fall in love so deeply, and I feel ashamed. It was a forbidden love.
Later, I went through other emails, and after all these decades I’m almost ready to rationalise yet again why I allowed myself to fall in love and I feel ashamed. It was a forbidden love.

Lovely Friend,

Why don’t you forgive yourself?

Wise Friend,

I’m not fretting about it. I can’t forgive myself, and I’m not beating myself up. Sometimes, I need to bring it up. I do that with you.

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