Must We Understand Everybody and Everything?

Posted: December 6, 2018 in book; books, communication, epistolary, Fiction, meaning, Musing, Musings, opinion, philosophy, relationships

Wise Friend,

I’m re-reading your last letter (I know, it’s an email) and I have some observations. How else?

It doesn’t surprise me that, at some stage, what I wrote would have infuriated you.

However, I prefer if you let me know straightway because for me it’s crucial to read your true reactions, and some “official” or “correct” response.

Frequently, I feel that my thoughts and opinions might be inopportune towards you.

However, you stay steady on a “terra firma” and follow a line of irreproachable correctness. Only once, you hinted that I project nonsense and that I mix reality with abstract images. So what, as if I don’t know…

What I would not like (though I have no way out) is to see that you boxed me as well into one of those “subjects”. I wish to believe it is not so.

I envy your ability to feel good around people you don’t socialise outside of specific events. I feel comfortable only with those I could meet and be open anywhere and at any time. Maybe that’s why I became a misanthrope, and I’m not social. I’m not good at acting. At the same time, I’m avid to communicate, to ventilate opinions and perceptions and when I have a partner who is truthful, not superficial, and this is one of the essential components of the dialogue with you.

Sensitive Friend,

I assume you refer to the letter about tabulation. I think, and I might be wrong, you fear the box-in (such a vapourware term!)

We both know, I would refrain from discussing some subjects with you. In turn, you would also avoid addressing everything with me. How else?

People do that in many of most successful intimate relationships. They protect each other unless they need not do that at all, and they protect some deeply hidden parts of themselves.

We are good friends. Common, be honest with yourself and if you wish with me.

I accepted a long time ago I don’t need to understand everybody and everything. I don’t need to know everything either. What a relief! There’s a personal balance for friendships or relationships to allow for that and still be strong.

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