Posts Tagged ‘sons’

Expressing Love to a Grown-up Son – Discreetly

Posted: September 13, 2018 in Musings

Wise friend,

How do you express love to your own grown-up son without embarrassment on either side?

Lovely friend,

When he was already a young adult, my son and I lived on different continents for a few years. From time to time I wrote short love messages to him. I wasn’t there so he could see the love in my look. I had to write what I felt. Rarely, and I hope discreetly enough.

Once I wrote to him:

“Do you remember those years, when we lived in that faraway suburb, before you turned a teenager, overnight? After dinner, you’d come into my arms, and we watched TV for hours like that.
So much love I feel for you, that I can’t describe and all I want is to be able to hold you like that for hours. You are too grown-up for that. At least, we are back at hugs.”

When my son turned 13, he went to a school camp for 10 days. When he came back, his voice was changed, his legs were hairy, and he made it very clear that I wasn’t supposed to touch, or hug. He kept a strict distance while being an incredibly good teenager otherwise. He would not join me anywhere – a visit to friends, a walk, a movie. Nothing. For the first six months, I was going out of my mind.

When Does the Melody Break Down?

Posted: September 3, 2018 in Musings
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Wise Friend,

Last evening, during the concert, I took notes in the dark, and I thought about you. When you came to mind, I thought that you have such a beautiful soul and despite any moment of darkness, you can’t hide it. There is so much joy and “Joie de vivre” that they shoot through your feelings, like grass in spring shooting through the snow.


The snow, however, is white. It brings me joy to be around you even when you are down.
Sometimes the melody breaks down.