Expressing Love to a Grown-up Son – Discreetly

Posted: September 13, 2018 in Musings
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Wise friend,

How do you express love to your own grown-up son without embarrassment on either side?

Lovely friend,

When he was already a young adult, my son and I lived on different continents for a few years. From time to time I wrote short love messages to him. I wasn’t there so he could see the love in my look. I had to write what I felt. Rarely, and I hope discreetly enough.

Once I wrote to him:

“Do you remember those years, when we lived in that faraway suburb, before you turned a teenager, overnight? After dinner, you’d come into my arms, and we watched TV for hours like that.
So much love I feel for you, that I can’t describe and all I want is to be able to hold you like that for hours. You are too grown-up for that. At least, we are back at hugs.”

When my son turned 13, he went to a school camp for 10 days. When he came back, his voice was changed, his legs were hairy, and he made it very clear that I wasn’t supposed to touch, or hug. He kept a strict distance while being an incredibly good teenager otherwise. He would not join me anywhere – a visit to friends, a walk, a movie. Nothing. For the first six months, I was going out of my mind.

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