Wise Friend,
You are a lot on my mind. You have no idea that I go with you almost everywhere. If anything challenges my thoughts or my heart I talk to you. In a way, you are my “victim” when I need to share details, so many details.
We allowed some people in our lives to bring us down, and shred to pieces any good opinions we could have about ourselves. We are angry at them, and we leave them. Then, like inertia, we are angry at ourselves that we allowed that to happen to us. Through our “new” anger they still destroy us. How does one switch it off? Each one employee own techniques.
We seem not to know how to respond with self-destructiveness. We don’t become aware until we went so far that we damage ourselves. We are angry at ourselves. Later we are angry at ourselves for being angry. Would a little neighbourhood bird could tell us in time, “Watch out. You’re now on a forbidden road. Get used to stepping on the new one.”
You said that you felt good lately and you did not know how to do deal with feeling good; first when it lasted more than a day, and then more than a week.
OnceI felt the same. I started feeling happy. I was so aware that it lasted a week, then two weeks, then a month and more months. I told Rene that I became worried about the time when it could end. And he said: “Well, why don’t you enjoy it for now. You can feel bad when it comes. Worrying will takes the pleasure you have now”. It lasted. I became used to push worry for the future times when would have made sense.
eachword-eachday 