Yearning, anger, and cursing – all together

Posted: September 12, 2018 in Musings
Tags: , ,

Wise friend,

For different reasons since the end of September, I was getting crazier and crazier. Much of this was related to Jonathan, or better said to missing Jonathan; a kind of lava that erupted in me after a long time of a quieter time of my emotions. Yesterday, probably due to a bad recurring flu that I had last week, but mainly due to my personality – let’s face it – I reached the highest point of this craziness. Suddenly, I fell to the ground (emotionally), it seems to me on my feet, and I relaxed. I have no idea, for how long the peace will last. The lava has cooled down, and I hope that this volcano will stay still for a long time, as I need the tranquility of my sanity.

Lovely friend,

Oh, Etna has just erupted last week, as well. I have bouts of anger – though less and less – where I advise people to stay out of my way!

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Wise friend,

I don’t have bouts of anger – I have bouts of missing this man, then I relax. While driving, I thought about you again, about anger and cursing. I’m not sure if I told you this before, but my thoughts on cursing are:
I almost never used the word “f…”; I’d rather use “Shivers” or “Gosh” (Gosh!!)
From time to time I used ‘f…’ and I noticed that it did not release, but actually it brings up more on anger.
For a while, last year, I cursed so much, and I noticed that my level of anger was seriously affected.
Since then I try not to use it – the addiction is strong, and it took a lot of willpower to stop – I’m mostly out of it.
I think that everybody uses the “f…” curse in connection with anger. It’s almost like an anchor, and hooks straight into the anger we felt during our lifetime – a bit more anger is added to the original pool each time we use it. The anger of the others, while using ‘f..’ is also chained to our own chain and we carry more and more. It anchors like a serial killer.

Lovely friend,

I use “Shivers” as a relief from stressful or unpleasant instantaneous feelings. When I want to talk about somebody who angers me, I feel tempted to use the adjective ‘f…ing.’ It’s like I can’t show the color of the situation. I make significant efforts to avoid it, as I feel stirred up.
Maybe I should write a Ph.D. about ‘f..ing’ ‘f..’ word and its derivatives.

Wise friend,

Thinking about you, my PhD on f.. and other so-called taboo words had been done, and many times over. Your interpretation is interesting but fails to touch on a major consideration of swearing which is the solidarity factor in haste.

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