Wise Friend,
Last evening, during the concert, I took notes in the dark, and I thought about you. When you came to mind, I thought that you have such a beautiful soul and despite any moment of darkness, you can’t hide it. There is so much joy and “Joie de vivre” that they shoot through your feelings, like grass in spring shooting through the snow.
The snow, however, is white. It brings me joy to be around you even when you are down.
Sometimes the melody breaks down.
Wise Friend,
You are a lot on my mind. You have no idea that I go with you almost everywhere. If anything challenges my thoughts or my heart I talk to you. In a way, you are my “victim” when I need to share details, so many details.
We allowed some people in our lives to bring us down, and shred to pieces any good opinions we could have about ourselves. We are angry at them, and we leave them. Then, like inertia, we are angry at ourselves that we allowed that to happen to us. Through our “new” anger they still destroy us. How does one switch it off? Each one employee own techniques.
We seem not to know how to respond with self-destructiveness. We don’t become aware until we went so far that we damage ourselves. We are angry at ourselves. Later we are angry at ourselves for being angry. Would a little neighbourhood bird could tell us in time, “Watch out. You’re now on a forbidden road. Get used to stepping on the new one.”
You said that you felt good lately and you did not know how to do deal with feeling good; first when it lasted more than a day, and then more than a week.
OnceI felt the same. I started feeling happy. I was so aware that it lasted a week, then two weeks, then a month and more months. I told Rene that I became worried about the time when it could end. And he said: “Well, why don’t you enjoy it for now. You can feel bad when it comes. Worrying will takes the pleasure you have now”. It lasted. I became used to push worry for the future times when would have made sense.
Wise Friend,
My main feeling these days is of having been abandoned – you know – all alone – the only people who ever loved me are dead…dar dum de dar…
It’s good that you’re a long way away – I’m a lousy company at the moment.
Sensitive Friend,
You are always a great company for me. Some people love you very much including me. What you yearn is intimate love, which includes hugging and kissing and rolling you into a lover’s arms – from parents’s deep love to that of lovers. That love is scarce (one can count from one to three in total – two of them are the parents when lucky ) and valuable, and you might now concentrate on that as missing.
Wise Friend,
Sure that’s what is missing I agree, but I’m very `fingers burnt’ and consider myself a real failure on that score. Can’t imagine EVER letting anyone get close enough again.
eachword-eachday 